Corporate Lessons
(Source: Unknown. Received via e-mail from a colleague)

Corporate Lesson 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds,Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Corporate Lesson 2
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Corporate Lesson 3
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply ofPina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Corporate Lesson 4
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

Corporate Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowestbranch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

The Richest Man in Babylon
By George S. Classon

Excerpts from the book…

“Money is the medium by which earthly success is measured”
“Money makes possible the enjoyment of the best the earth affords”

A PART OF ALL YOU EARN IS YOURS TO KEEP.

BETTER A LITTLE CAUTION THAN A GREAT REGRET.

Seven Cures for a lean purse

• Start your purse to fattening
• Keep one-tenth of all you earn
• Control your expenditure
• Make your gold multiply
• Guard your treasures from loss
• Make your dwelling a profitable investment
• Insure a future income
• Increase your ability to earn

THE FIVE LAWS OF GOLD

1. Gold comes gladly and in increasing quantity to any man who will put by not less than one tenth of his earnings to create an estate for his future and that of his family.
2. Gold labours diligently and contentedly for the wise owner who finds for it profitable employment, multiplying even as the flocks of the field.
3. Gold clings to the protection of the cautious owner who invests it under the advice of men wise in its handling.
4. Gold slips away from the man who invests it in business or purposes with which he is not familiar or which are not approved by those skilled in its keep.
5. Gold flees the man who would force it to impossible earnings or who follows the alluring advice of tricksters and schemers or who trusts it to his own inexperience or romantic desires in investment.
   
   

I liked this letter to the forum page (Asiaone) ...if only there were more of such people around, then Singapore would not be such a stressful place.

HDB flat, two kids, aged parents - and debt-free
Oct 13, 2006 The Straits Times

I REFER to the letter, 'Govt should relook income qualifying levels' (ST, Oct 7), and the writer's reason for buying a private property and not having children.
My husband and I have two young children and are totally debt-free. Even though we each hold a master's degree, I chose to be a stay-at-home mum to nurture our children. Despite surviving on a single income, we are debt-free.
We have paid fully for our home and car. We give our children a good standard of living and education. We support aged parents. We also set aside enough for rainy days and are saving diligently for our retirement.
The key to financial freedom is to live beneath your means.
We could have bought a private apartment with a loan but we chose to live in a five-room resale flat, paid for with our CPF.
We could have bought a BMW with a loan but we chose to buy a Toyota, paid for in cash.
The interest savings from being debt-free could be used to support one's aged parents and young children.
Subsidies should be channelled to people whose needs are greater than ours.
Allison Yeo Li Hwa (Ms)

THE TOTAL MONEY MAKOVER By Dave Ramsey
(A proven plan for Financial Fitness)

A short summary of the book, and useful quotes. Tens of thousands of ordinary people have become debt-free – here’s how you can too…Please read the book for full details, examples, and real-life storeis by the author.

MOTTO: IF YOU LIVE LIKE NO ONE ELSE, LATER YOU CAN LIVE LIKE NO ONE ELSE

I had too much debt, too little savings, and no sense of control over my life.
Winning at money is 80% behaviour and 20% head knowledge.
Savings without a mission is garbage. Your money needs to work for you, not lie around.
Co-signing of loans = broken hearts and broken wallets
We buy things we don need with money we don have in order to impress pple we don like
Debt is not a tool, it is a mtd to make banks wealthy, not U
We worry about our health & focus on our money only after they r gone
Don’t ever consdier to keep up with the Joneses. THEY ARE BROKE!!

MYTH vs TRUTH
M: If I loan money to frens and relatives, I am helping them
T: If you loan money to frens and relatives, the relationship will be strained or damaged.
M:Debt is a tool & shld be used to create wealth
T:Debt adds considerable risk, most often doesn’t bring prosperity & isn’t used by wealthy people as much as we are led to believe

M:You can get agood deal on a new car at 0% interest.
T:A new car loses 60% of its value in the 1st 4 yrs, that isn’t 0%

M:If I do a will, I might die.
T:You R goin to die – so do it with a will

M:U should get a credit card to build up credit.
T:You won’t use credit with yr Total Money Makeover, except maybe for mortgage, & U don need a credit card for that.

M:If no one uses debt, our economy will collapse
T:Nope. It will prosper.

BABY STEPS TO FINANCIAL FITNESS…
Step 1:Save $1000 cash as a starter emergency fund
- hide it
- keep it liquid

Step 2:Start the Debt Snowball: Lose weight FAST, really.
- list all yr debts (fr smallest to biggest)
- clear small debts first

Step 3:Finish the Emergency Fund
(should be enough for 3 – 6 mths’ expenses)

Step 4:Invest 15% of yr income in retirement
- mutual funds
- learn about investing to overcome the fear

Step 5: Save for college

Step 6 Pay off your home mortgage
- shorter terms matter
Sample:
Purchase Price - $130,000
Downpayment - $20,000
Mortgage - $110,000
Mthly Total
30 yrs $732 $263,520
15 yrs $988 $177,840
Difference$256 $85,680

Step 7 Build wealth like crazy
“Wealth is not an escape mechanism. It is instead a responsibility.”
3 reasons to build wealth: HAVE FUN, INVESTING, GIVING


For more, read book by Dave Ramsey or visit his website www.daveramsey.com